I was reading while listening to a random old song playlist when I heard this song by Daryl Hall & John Oates called Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid. It said: 

“Some lies are better off believed, some words are better left unspoken.”. 

It made me remember when I sent my last message to a former best friend

It took me years after our falling out before I told her. Despite my husband’s disapproval, I sent my final words anyway. I explained to her that I would never bother her after that. Even though she posted an indirect reply on Facebook, I kept my word and never even thought of responding again. 

Before this, the words left unsaid after our failed friendship had haunted me for a long time. I would constantly have dreams about spending time together and being friends again. These tormented me because I would miss her and wish things went differently for us even though I knew for sure it would never be the same. So, I bravely sent her my last words to subdue those thoughts and deleted our past conversations. 

Even though her response hurt me, I felt something that shocked me. PEACE — I felt at ease. Those words that kept on pinning me back to the past felt like somebody just pulled a massive nail inside me. It was freeing as I let everything go. Now, I feel no regrets about our friendship and no ill will toward her. I sincerely wish her well.

Regret is a pitiful word—the person who feels regret, even more so

I’ve felt this in some areas of my life numerous times now. I wouldn’t say I like this emotion. Perhaps that’s why I swallowed my pride and sent that long message to my former best friend. 

Regret hurts more than rejection for me. At least it’s easier to accept rejection because of closure. With regret, you tend to continue blaming yourself, being consumed by the thoughts of “might-have-beens,” or wishing you could go back in time to undo the things you’ve done. It’s unfortunate because the universe won’t let you do so. 

Unrequited love, for instance, frustrates me – especially when somebody cannot confess their feelings. I know they need to consider some factors, but I cannot imagine such torture. Why can’t you just tell them how you feel? I thought.

I am an overthinker, so sometimes I lay at night and think of all the people I’ve wronged in the past. Suddenly, I came up with words I wanted to say and I’ll have this intense urge to reach out to them and say them. However, most of them are strangers now. Would it matter?

CHILLS RUN DOWN MY SPINE WITH APPREHENSION when I think about it the following day. I can’t – it just makes no sense to me. It would make things more awkward, OR they might appreciate it. I don’t want to gamble the odds. I’ll then leave those thoughts in the air and let them disappear. 

Words are powerful

Whatever we may say may change somebody else’s entire world. Telling the truth to an adoptive child, saying your wife’s cooking is terrible after hiding it for eternity, or telling your friend she doesn’t look good in her favorite dress may make or break them. 

So the question is, is it worth telling them at all? Is it not selfish to say things just to free yourself? Are things better left off as they are? 

The world is complicated, and it’s not always black and white. All I know is that it was freeing when I sent my message to my former friend. Maybe there are words better left unsaid. However, I think for the most important people in your life, don’t let the opportunity pass you by.

Of course, it’s all up to you. At the end of the day, it’ll always be your choice if you want to let it go, or go on living with all the words you have left unsaid.